...

haven't posted in a while so thought i should.

lots of thing going on and hard to explain some of them, but i am feeling very drained and emotional, even the smallest thing set me off in either a angry meltdown or an anxious , crying one.

Not sure if im here or there, up or down.

missing my babys a lot , Payton has been an Angel for 22 days now and im struggling to find the "good" side of anything

have had a few days where all i have wanted is to be with my babys, i never do anything , but sometimes i wish i had the courage, some would say its a good thing i dont.. so i guess im stuck here for however long , doing whatever until one day things might pick up or God might give me a bit of grace and leave me be.

I am so greatful to my good friends , who have been helping me stay afloat lately, especially my adopted siamese twin , love you <3 thank you <3 ((((( <3 ))))



<3 Rillee <3 Horowai <3 Payton <3