Rillee

It coming up to Rillee's Day , on the 5th April it will be her one year Angelversry , the closer it get the harder it is getting :( not even sure what to say about anything or what to say to anyone anymore, its taking everything i have, all my strength to even go about my day with some sort of calm and smile , i have to do it , i have to be ok around people , so i wait until night when everyone else is asleep and then the tears roll down my face for the rest of the night :( like now , it is about 140am and once again im crying and cant find a way to stop xx i will update in a few days xx

i dont know what to write to explain how im feeling, Rillee's 1year Angelversary is coming up and so is Horowai's EDD

<3 <3

struggling :( xx

<3 Rillee <3 Horowai <3 Payton <3 Savannah <3 Gabrielle <3

I can say , i am not doing well :( CAn hardly drag myself out of bed , no appetite and lost a bit of weight already , cant be bothered with anything , cant cry , just feel depressed , cant make myself go to the doctor , that officially in the too hard basket. Another family member with cancer passed away not quite a week ago , my Angels and him in one week may just be too much. Might just crawl back into bed and not deal with anything . will update another day x


<3 Rillee <3 Horowai <3 Payton <3 Savannah <3 Gabrielle <3

I am trying so hard to hold it together , my family still know nothing and i cant handle them as well. It feels like something bubbling under the surface and every once in a while a tear escapes , i wipe it away and suck it up and wait till noone is around. just feel so miserable and just cant be bothered anymore. I just want my Angels with me

<3 Rillee <3 Horowai <3 Payton <3 Savannah <3 Gabrielle <3

blank ..

No words for how i feel today

<3 Rillee <3 Horowai <3 Payton <3 Savannah <3 Gabrielle <3

my vent .... get a hobby!!!!

Why is it that when people get bored they go looking for someone to wind up? Why do people act big and mighty while they are sneaking around being idiots? People seriously need to get hobbies , because something doesnt fit YOUR picture doesnt mean you have the right to go around calling other people sluts and questioning them ! Its RUDE , anyone from facebook who is reading this and does have a problem with me , delete me now , im done with the childish gossip and sick of people starting on one person then getting bored or told to go away then they go find someone else to slink around behind , i will NOT be part of this .. PISS OFF, you dont know half of what you think you do , your head is too far up your backside to even listen and find out what is ACTUALLY going on.

To eveybody else , im sorry , this blog is for me to say how i feel and right now im about to blow a fuse , everything is getting to be too much and im feeling ovewhelmed.

thank you to all of my friends , thank you for being here for me and my Angels , luve you all <3<3