Last night i lost my Angel Payton,
today i am .... i dont even know, in a way i think u could say .. numb, some of today has been like im watching from somewhere else, not from me, like its not just happened to me.I have walked around and done the usual things, just at a slower pace. Some of today , i have no description for, and some i have felt my blood starting to bubble, my heart beating so fast it hurt, anxious, a few times i have cried, but not a lot, i am scared if i let myself get upset i wont stop. Everything has happened so fast i dont know where i am, from finding out i was pregnant , to being told we were losing him , to him leaving me, was such a short time, i keep hoping its not happened, even though i know it has.
Paytons dad bought our Angel some things yesterday , because i have been feeling Payton is a boy, he bought blue things, they are georgouse, but i looked at them maybe twice and cant even go to look at them now, i get to the door of my bedroom and cant move. Bubs godfather made him some things and took beautiful pictures, i cant look at them, a good freind made me something for all three of my Angels, i cant look at it for too long. I want to , i just cant.
I was going to write so mch more, but now im doing it, i am not feeling able to write any more.
<3 Payton <3 10/01/2010 <3
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I wish that I could say something, do something, to take this horrible hurt away. To make things easier on you. I hurt when you hurt sweetie. I so wish that Payton had been able to stay, and I am so sorry that you and your partner are hurting so badly. I really want to punch mother nature right now. This just sucks so bad. Please know that I am here for you hun. If you need me, please just yell. Love you always and forever. xxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteGirls look after your precious angel brother... give him loads of cuddles , hugs , kisses and blow raspberries on his chunky cheeks x my friend im here for you and your partner . Im so sorry your bubba grew his angel wings x Horowai * Rillee * Payton x
ReplyDeleteI read this over and over and cannot believe what I am reading. I don't know what to say. I know I'm sorry doesn't cut it. I wish there was something I could do. May your three angels give you some comfort.
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