Today is boxing day where i am, Christmas Eve has gone , Christmas day as well, and i couldnt be more gratefull, it has not been easy in the last few days, putting on my "happy" face for my family and friends but they do not know about my girls, so for now i have no choice.
I have had another project the last few weeks, something that i hope helped an Angels family member somewhere....somehow, so far most of the feedback has been good, so i think maybe it will be ok to give it a go next year.
I miss my girls, this is their first christmas, not just their first christmas in Heaven, but FIRST ever and they are not here, i feel like im alone in a crowd , i am plastering on a fake smile, taking a deep breath and chatting away , but inside im screaming and crying and in pieces. I ache to hold them , to hear them cry, to feel them, to touch them, kiss them, i ache for my babys. Every moment of everyday is a struggle, every minute, every second i feel like my heart is being jumped on, i never thought i would ever feel like this about anybody , but i was given two miracles, and then they were taken away in a moment and i could not do a thing about it.
I hope that my Angels can hear me, i hope they know how much I love them <3 <3
Its 11pm here and i have tears rolling down my face yet again :'( and now i think its time to go to bed adn try to sleep.
Nite everybody xox <3 xox
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