I havent posted for a while, have been so down and tired. I am kind of back now, i suppose. I talk to some people and have done a few things online, but am not finding it easy to want to talk to everyone, finding it difficult.
It seems that everyone is having a really hard time, christmas i must say SUX. I am missing my girls so much , this should be their first christmas, I should be taking photos of Rillee with all of her new christmas presents but instead im left with... a headache and no baby. i dont know how i will do this, if i can put on my "happy face" for my family and pretend nothing is wrong when my heart is broken and i feel like im sinking in quicksand.
I dont know what to do anymore.. I feel completly lost and overwhelmed, even talking to a group of friends in a support site chatroom feels overwhelming, a couple of people is ok, but if there are many, i cant find words and feel .. i dont even have a word to describe it, i LOVE that there are so may people using the room now , it awsome and i hope it keeps up, its just me , not coping i guess.
Feeli like i could snap at anytime, and would prefer to bury my head under my pillow and stay there.
My heart goes out to a good friend whos beautiful baby boy grew his Angel wings on christmas day , I love you and i wish i could give you a huge hug today and every day, i am here if you need me .xxooxx <3 T <3 C <3
I wish i could do something to help, all i have been able to do is watch as my friend works and work and then have others come along and try to destroy everything, why? just because? its unfair and its pathetic, big hug from me, and all i can say is karma comes in really handy sometimes ,
xxooxx mwaah xxooxx
Thats me for now i guess , thinking i might drag myself back to bed and cover my head, take care all xxooxx
Mummy misses you girls so much :( Love you now and forever <3>
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