nearly got it out :(

Again.... :( i went to say how much i miss my girls, talking to a really good friend who has given me so much support since i lost my girls (thank you so much, love you long time) again i wanted so badly to say it, how much i miss my babys, how much i want them, how bad im hurting.. and again just before i said it, i closed my mouth and didnt.. why cant i do it? why cant i just say it? Why is it so hard? now instead im sitting here, crying for my babys, hurting, lost and tired and not even to type excatly how i feel, chatting to friends in an awsome chat room, and still not able to get out what it is i want to say, in a chat room with friends who understand... i cant do it, i dont know why :( i feel like im letting them down, most of the time i can type how much i miss and need them, but i can never SAY it out loud... whats wrong with me? :"(